Sirach 34:1-8
The senseless have vain and flase hopes, and dreams give wings to fools. As one who catches at a shadow and pursues the wind, so is anyone who believes in dreams. What is seen in dreams is but a reflection, the likeness of a face looking at itself. From an unclean thing what can be clean? And from something false what can be true? Divinations and omens and dreams are unreal, and like a woman in labor, the mind has fantasies. Unless they are sent by intervention from the Most High, pay no attention to them. For dreams have deceived many, and those who put their hopw in them have perished. Without such deceptions the law will be fulfilled, and wisdom is complete in the mouth of the faithful.
i don't know y u did this to me. i dont comprehend ur reasons to make me feel this way. did u have to b so harsh on me? did u have to make it hurt this bad? it's been 2 years since i saw u last. 8 since we last talked. i remember how i found out about u. both times. the first, i wanted to go visit u for christmas, and asked my parents if u were comming. they told me y. u ruined my christmas. the second time, i was comming home from a sleep over with jilly. and i had 2 softball games that day and told my parents we were gonna b late. they sed i wasn't goin. i asked y, and they sed u died. i find it coincidental that i had to go to softball games the moment i found out cuz u taught me how to play. ya kno, i've hit 8 homeruns so far. all for u. when i hit them, i've thought u were trying to catch the ball.
i miss having the oreo cookies with u. and using out teenage mutant ninja turtle cups filled with milk. i didnt eat oreo's for a year cuz of u. i realized i cudnt live with out em, and now i eat them for u.
i miss playing on ur hammock. falling asleep and swinging bak and forth in it. and i miss playing in ur garden, and seeing all the baby bunnies eating ur vegetables. me and roxanne trying to catch them.
and i remember playing baseball and basketball with u in the middle of the street. i loved that... and the owl story i'll never forget.
remember when u bought me and my brother the lizards over the summer? lucky and lizzy. i had so much fun with them, aunt roxanne was scared to death by them. and my parents hated them to no end.
i still have teddy. i remember u giving him to me wen i was 3... and it was christmas. i love teddy to death and i still sleep with him at night. and wen i miss u, i cry and hug him.
do u remember wen we were in the car going to get ice cream, and u started to smoke a cigarette, and i asked u to stop? u turned around, smiled, threw out the cigarette, and then rest of the pack. i dont kno y u cudnt have stopped the other drugs wen i asked u to. but u shud have.
i remember wen u first adopted angelica, i was so jealous. i thought u wanted to replace me. but then u told me that u just wanted a little girl exactly like me so u cud feel like i was with u all the time.
i remember going to 7-11 with u and getting pina colada slurppies. and u wud always get the same. my brother wud always get the blue kind. and then we wud get snowballs too.
i remember the ice cream man. running out in my pajamas to go get sumthing. and the jelly donuts, and bagels, and white fish for breakfast everytime i saw u.
i remember wen i saw u last on fathers day. u were white as a ghost. u lost all ur weight and muscles. i barely recognized u. u sed u didnt kno wat was wrong, and thought it was a virus. but u knew wat it was. u shudda stopped them. u shudda realiezed u weren't gonna last much longer going through that.
uncle eddie. i miss u. i wish u cud c me. c wat ur missing out on. i have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. his name is david. he's a runner year-round. and has huge muscles like urs used to b. he has eyes like u too, green-ish brown. he has the same love for me as u did. he wud do nething in the world for me, and he always tells me he loves me. i sometimes wish i cud have u meet him. u wud love him like ur son. he smells like u too. a sweet undesricable scent and absolutely unforgettable. he's amazing. i wish u cud c us together. i wish u cud c me now. im in high school, and im a sophomore. its harder, but im managing. im still dancing, running, lifting, playing basketball, and never giving up softball. now im a catcher. its hard to play that position without u giving me pointers from behind the back stop. i miss it. i miss u. nanny is horrific. she's doing terrible, she calls pj (who now goes by phil) eddie. she misses u more than ne1. she's really lost with out u eddie, she doesnt know wat to do. she cries on the phone everytime saying how much she misses u. i wish u cud visit her and make everything better for her. she's not gonna make it much longer. so b ready for her arrival, she'll b so happy to b with u.
i really truely miss u uncle eddie. u dont kno wat u have done to me. wat kind of person u have made me. i dont kno if i can ever forgive u for this. i dont kno if i'll ever understand. i think about u everyday. i hate wat u did. but i love you. | 
